Becoming Empowered

                                         By Evanna

             Self-esteem is defined as confidence in one’s own worth and/or abilities; simply just having respect for yourself. I feel most woman struggle with self-esteem issues. Everyone struggles, everyone has hardships, and everyone has a past. My past involves sexual assault, anorexia, and bullying. No matter how hard I tried to ignore my problems they always resurfaced because I never confronted them. My self-esteem was on the verge of extinction and hadn’t a clue how to pull myself up.

All throughout my life I have always dived head first, right into sports! You could probably say it was my first love. Any sport you could think of, I was trying to play it. Whether it was for school or after school as a hobby.  I did high-school cheerleading, competitive cheerleading, volleyball, basketball, wrestling, tennis, softball, football, and several different events in track. If I was not doing a sport I was busy with my art work. But when I hit middle school I truly started to realize how mean people could be. I was constantly bullied and because of that I became a very mean person to those who didn’t know me on a personal level. Slowly I began to isolate myself, and during that time I fell for a boy. This boy ended up attempting to rape me. I fell prey to my own mind after some time and struggled with anorexia for a year. I hid what happened to me for two years, until I had a break down and finally told my parents when I was nearly 17. Since then I have been striving to not let it define me, even though it took away any self-esteem I had… It has now been five years.

About one month ago I liked a Facebook page my friend was involved with. Shortly after, I was messaged on Facebook. I was asked if I would be interested in joining Herbodies and was sent a link to the website along with a bunch of information for any questions I may have. At first, I was super sketched out. I didn’t know this guy or anything about what he was offering me. So, after looking at Herbodies.com and reading everything I was sent, I gave them my number to give me a call to talk about it. We spent some time on the phone, but after a while I decided I would give it a try and I showed up ready to learn!

After only 20 minutes of going over some defense moves my adrenaline was running! I wanted to just keep learning more.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but my confidence was coming back. In the day and a half I spent working with Herbodies I felt like a jack rabbit. I was excited. I was happy. I had an insane amount of energy. I was eager to keep learning! So I dove in ready for whatever came next.

We went over choke holds, leg scissors, arm wrestling, and my favorite: grappling. When it all started I thought I just “knew” how terrible I was going to do.. But once we started, I realized how much I truly doubt my own abilities. I tried to do the best that I could, and I personally believe I did quite well. I found myself feeling proud. I was proud that I wasn’t as bad as I had originally thought. Once I realized how good I felt learning how to defend myself and how much fun I was having; I was jumping around waiting for another match! Everyone must have thought I was crazy trying to grapple so much.. But I felt great! I felt empowered! I felt like I had regained the confidence I lost many years ago.

I may be new, and I know I have a lot to learn... But Herbodies can do wonders for any woman. Herbodies can you give you the confidence to get up and be ready for whatever comes next in your life. It is motivating me to become fit and work out, which in the long run is helping me become healthier. I feel better, not only physically but mentally. I honestly believe that if I didn’t become a part of Herbodies I wouldn’t be as happy as I am right now. It’s giving me motivation. And motivation is not always easy to come by. Even as I write this, my hands shake because I am simply excited for the next gig. I feel great. I feel empowered. And most importantly, I don’t feel my past holding me back.