A Victim No More

By Scarlett  

Growing up I was an athletic and active person.  I raced motor cross and did sports.  When I was 16 I started dating this guy who I thought was perfect.  After two years of dating  we got married at 18.  Little did I know my world would be turned upside down. I ended becoming a victim of his mental and physical abuse. I became the static.  I was a victim of domestic violence. I was in an abusive relationship for over three years, and during that time I experienced extreme physical and mental abuse. The physical abuse was awful, but the mental abuse was the worst because it made me feel degraded, have a lowered self esteem, and feel very insecure.  After I had recovered from the domestic violence and had moved on with my life I ended up divorcing him and leaving him at the age of 20. 

Shortly after I was divorced my friend told me I needed a night out.  We went to a bar.  I was not drinking because I had to work in the morning. I met this guy who ended up kidnapping, assaulting, and raped me.  This hugely impacted my life because I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from the event. Depression, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, and not having a comfort zone were the main things I struggled with after the assault. I was also let down by the legal system when at the end of the trial they said there was not enough evidence to prosecute him, even though substantial evidence was provided. While this ordeal was going on and the domestic abuse I felt so helpless.  I could not defend myself and I did not know what to do.        

Those events have changed me, but instead of continuing to let the events pull me down, I have embraced them as an opportunity for personal growth. I did not want to give my assailants any more power over me than what they already took

Both of these events impacted my life in a large negative way. What was key for me in the healing process of both events was having a strong support system, surrounding myself with positive people, and reading books.  One of the books that helped me the most to recover from that trauma was “Conscious Loving the Journey from Co-dependence to Co-commitment" I have always been a very positive person and strived to be independent, and that desire also played a huge role in my ability to keep going and not let those events define me or keep me from being all I desire to be. I accept what happened and I can’t change that, but the best decision I made was to not be defined by what happened. I decided to learn from that experience and arm myself with knowledge and awareness. Even though they will not be held accountable for their actions by the legal system, I hold them accountable, and I refuse to let them hold me back.

I met Jason at Herbodies.com and once he told me about what they are about and how they take the time to train and empower women, I was hooked.  I went to their studios and got training and learned how not to be a victim any more. I learned how to defend myself and what to do if I was ever in those situations again.  They really help train me and to show me how to stay calm, control my breathing, and how to protect myself.   I met some other girls who shared similar stories and I feel empowered when I left.  I have more training to do, but I do not feel like a victim and feel confident that I will not ended up a victim again. I would recommend to any women who does not want to be a victim and who would want to learn how to take control of their lives and be empowered.  They are all about empowering women on all levels.

 Now, I live a happy and empowered life. I always strive for constant personal development and to be the best that I can be at anything I take on. I refuse to continue to be a victim to my past.  I feel more empowered then I have ever felt.  For this I am grateful for the new friendships and people that has come into my life.